I hate it when others use it. I hate myself when I use it. Mean Works. Mean Works best when you have some type of power over another person. Take heart-we all have power over someone. If you have lots of money you can be mean. Without saying a word a money person can insinuate, "It's my way or we stop traveling together," or, "Didn't quite work out the way you planned, bet you wish you had me on your side."
Teachers use Mean. "You didn't like what I had planned-take this!" Oh, the teacher seldom says it outloud, but the Meanness is there. Do teachers ever use assignments to be mean?
Students can be Mean. Male students use money and their physical strength as their weapon of Mean. Female students assault with their groupies and words. Generally, other students stand by and watch as these weapons are drawn. After the emotional bleeding the bystanders can be heard to say, "I never said one bad (Mean) word," or, "It wasn't any of my business." Parents, teachers, pastors, employers, and employees, who allow this style are instructors of Mean.
Meanness works well as a motivator, yet is emotionally destructive, and fails long term. The fear from Mean remains, sometimes forever, but it destroys relationships, and exiting Mean's space becomes a priority. The obedient child who was motivated by mean, can't wait to leave home. Unfortunately, the leaving is more than packing a suitcase. Meanness also makes the Heart move out.
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